


What's Left of Me

by a1_kitkat



Series: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People? [3]
Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Prison, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship, M/M, Not Beta Read, Protective Erik, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reunions, Secret Relationship, Top Dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 09:47:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: PART THREE OF MY PRISON AU! SERIES(FINAL INSTALLMENT)Charles suffers in the aftermath of his assault while once again being parted from Erik





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this took me so long and I apologize if it doesn't meet expectations, I kinda wrote myself into a corner and didn't know how to get myself out of it.

By the time the lockdown had come to an end and the inmates were free to leave their cells, the entire cell block was abuzz with outlandish theories as to what had transpired in Erik's cell. The general consensus, being spread mostly by Logan to counteract any other theories which was confusedly being believed by most, was that Charles had stabbed Erik in self-defence.

Now able to leave his cell, Logan made straight for Shaw's office but the Warden wasn't there. He tried to question several guards but each ignored him or told him to go away. He'd seen the blood seeping from Erik's wounds, there had been so much of it but he'd also witnessed Victor and his pals fleeing the scene of the crime. He knew Charles had lied to the guards, he just didn't know why and his enquiring mind needed to know.  
After getting nowhere with the guards, Logan headed to medical in hopes of catching at least a glimpse of Erik or Charles but the door was closed and the blinds firmly secure.

He lingered for a few minutes until the door opened and Shaw himself stepped into the hall. He closed the door then turned around and was surprised to find Logan there.

"Mr Howlett" he greeted him "I suppose I shouldn't be shocked to see you here"  
"Is Erik okay? What about Charles?" He asked.  
"Mr Lensherr has been transferred to the hospital, he needs a blood transfusion"  
Logan felt his heart hammering in his chest.  
"And Charles?"  
"Under observation... He appears to be in shock"  
"Do you know what happened?"  
"The guards tell me Xavier stabbed Lensherr"  
"Why? Why did he do it? Where did he get the knife?"  
"Until he starts talking, I guess we'll never know"  
"Can I uh can I see him?"  
"He's sedated"  
"Please? Just for a minute?"

Shaw wasn't quite sure how to interpret Logan's behaviour. Was it genuine concern for Xavier or did he want revenge for the attack on Lensherr? He decided to see how it would play out and he nodded in agreement. Shaw turned back, opened the door and addressed the nurse, stating that the patient had a visitor.

Logan moved into the room and over to Charles's bedside. There was a faint bruise upon his cheek but other than that he looked fine. His wrist was handcuffed to the bed.

"Charles" he whispered "its Logan... are you okay?"  
"Lo...gan?" his words were slurred "E... Erik?"  
"He's at the hospital; you're in the med bay. Are you alright?"  
"Hurts"  
"I know it does" he reached out and gently touched Charles's hand "will you be okay?"  
"Erik... Erik?"

Charles was completely gone. Logan stayed with him a few more minutes until the sedatives took effect and he drifted back to sleep.

"How long does he have to stay here?" Logan asked the nurse.  
"His lawyer is trying to get him transferred to a hospital for a psychological evaluation" Shaw explained "she's hoping to have Xavier there by the end of the day"  
Logan wondered if he would be taken to the same hospital as Erik.  
"And Erik?" He asked "how bad was he...?"  
"He was barely conscious when they brought him in, there's no word yet"  
Logan nodded his head in understanding.  
"Would you let me know if he's okay? Once you've heard...?"  
"Of course"  
"Thank you"

*

Charles had been too drained to do much of anything when the guards had secured him to the stretcher and taken him to the med bay. He was only vaguely aware of the cells he passed and the many pairs of eyes on him.  
Once they'd reached their destination and Erik had been laid out in the bed beside him, Charles had seen the blood pooling at his stomach and from his knee and had lost all control. This had led the nurse to have to sedate him.

By the time he'd come to, Shaw was by his bed, demanding answers but his memory was too foggy and he'd kept silent as he slipped in and out of sleep.  
The next time he awoke, it was to find Logan by his side. Logan... Logan had saved them. Logan was safe to talk to. His head was still fuzzy but at least he tried to speak this time, tried to ask about Erik but could barely form the words. Luckily Logan understood and tried to reassure him. His attempts were in vain as Charles was still sedated and eventually nodded off again.

Charles awoke much later, his head slightly clearer and he tried to get up but was surprised to find his wrists cuffed to the bed. He looked around but was completely alone in the room. He hadn't been entirely alone since being escorted to prison and it made him feel slightly uneasy. When the nurse returned, she was accompanied by a doctor and Charles's lawyer, Evangeline. He'd never been so happy to see her.

"Vange?" Charles greeted her.  
"Charles!" She moved towards him as though to hug him but stopped upon seeing he was handcuffed. "Oh Charles, it's so good to see you"  
"What are you doing here?"

Evangeline looked at both the doctor and the nurse and told them she needed a moment alone with her client. Neither appeared happy about it but the patient wasn't in any immediate danger so they begrudgingly left her alone with Charles.  
She immediately sat down on the foot of the bed and looked at him, examining his face as though to determine how badly he was hurt.

"I don't really know where to begin" Vange explained "it's been a tough few days from the sounds of things"  
She reached into her bag and pulled out a small pile of paperwork. "Shall I start with the good news?"  
"Please"  
"He woke up"  
"What?"  
"Victim regained consciousness three days ago and I've been working round the clock to get you out of here"  
"How? What?"  
"I immediately filed the paperwork to" she paused "well you don't need to know all the details but you won't be charged for manslaughter so I'm petitioning for misdemeanour with suspended sentence"  
"I don't understand"

Charles's mind was still hazy from the sedative so he wasn't entirely comprehending everything she was saying to him.  
"I'm trying to get you out of here and I plan to use this" she waved her hand around the room "to do it"  
"How?"  
His head hurt but his wrists were restrained so he couldn't attempt to soothe the pain.  
"Charles, you stabbed your cellmate in self-defence" she explained "so I plan to argue that you're not safe in here. Right now I'm waiting for the paperwork to have you transferred to a hospital for a psych evaluation"  
"You want them to think I'm crazy?"  
"If it gets you out of a cell and into a hospital then I'm okay with that"

Charles leaned back, resting his head upon the pillow. Vange reached out and placed her hand upon his shoulder as her phone began to ring.  
"Rest for now, Charles, and I'll be back as soon as possible" she smiled at him before sweeping out of the room.  
He closed his eyes and tried to rest but it was difficult, he needed to know if Erik was going to be alright.

*

The prison yard was an entirely different story. Erik's absence was noticed by all but what everyone seemed intent to focus on was that Top Dog, Erik Lensherr, had been brought down by his meek and terrified cell mate. 

Logan sat alone in his usual spot but it felt wrong being there without Erik. Victor was yet to make an appearance and Logan was curious to see what the man would do once he finally came waltzing in. From his current position he could see and almost feel the fear from the next table over. Hank, Alex and Darwin looked very uneasy while the new kid Sean appeared to be feeling Charles's absence the most.

Hank got to his feet, crossed to Logan's table and sat down in front of him. Logan looked up at his brash behaviour but couldn't bring himself to growl at the kid; they were all terrified by the sudden loss of protection that Erik offered them.

"Any word on Erik?" Hank asked him.  
"Sorry kid I can't help you" Logan replied.  
"Are you sure Charles stabbed him?" Hank lowered his voice to not be overheard.  
"That's what he claims"  
"I don't believe it, not for a second"  
"Why is that? Because he was too chicken shit to stand up for himself?"  
"Because Charles is in love with him" his voice was barely louder than a whisper.  
"Stockholm syndrome already?"  
"What? No!"  
"Look kid I don't know what's going on inside your head but Erik was stabbed and Charles confessed to doing it"  
"And I know that's a fucking lie"

Logan's eyes scanned the room, making sure no one was watching or close enough to overhear them.  
"I think it was Victor" he admitted.  
"Victor Creed? But he's Erik's other... well you"  
"Yeah and I think he's been eyeing off Erik's top dog status for too long"  
"You think he did this to overthrow Erik?"  
"Yeah kid I do"  
"But we can't let that happen!"

Logan scoffed. He had no idea what Hank thought he could do about it. Unless Erik came back soon, the entire prison system could and probably would be thrown into chaos.  
"Look kid if you've got any bright ideas; just forget about them" he insisted.  
"There's gotta be more to this" Hank argued "if Victor did it then why would Charles say he did?"  
"Who knows?"  
But they both suspected the reason behind it.

Before Logan could tell Hank to piss off, Victor finally made an appearance. He stalked into the room and made a beeline for one of the deserted tables. Victor climbed on top and addressed the room at large.  
Logan clenched his fists in anger as Victor took the opportunity to declare himself the new Top Dog. He was quick to state the mantle had been handed to him by Erik himself but no one appeared to believe him especially when Azazel got to his feet, called him a liar and declared himself the new Top Dog.  
Things were going to get ugly and fast.

Victor didn't take well to being challenged by Azazel.  
"Logan!" Hank hissed "do something!"

But Logan didn't know what to do. Perhaps in Erik's absence it was best to align with the lesser of two evils but he honestly didn't know which of Victor or Azazel was the lesser.  
He saw the look of fear on Hank’s face and frowned to himself but shook his head; none of this was his problem anyway so why should he get involved?

All eyes were on the two men as they argued over who held the greater authority. Victor was the first to claim that all of Erik's rules no longer applied so Azazel turned gleefully to the table where Darwin, Alex and Sean were all seated. Hank knew he should go back but he felt oddly safer being close to Logan.  
But Victor got there first and instantly made a play for Alex. He grabbed the young man's arm and attempted to pull him to his feet.

"That's right, with Erik gone, you're going to be mine" he hissed as he yanked him up.  
But Darwin wasn't going to give him up without a fight and he launched himself at Victor, sending all three of them to the ground. Darwin was able to get in one very strong punch to Victor's jaw before Logan found himself on his feet, separating the two.

"This is fucking bullshit" he declared "just because Erik isn't here, doesn't mean he won't be back and he'll be mightily pissed off if the place turns to shit in his absence"

Victor was still eyeing off Alex but Darwin purposely stepped in between the two. Logan was very surprised by the balls on him. No one had ever stood up to Victor like that before he wondered what had inspired him to be so selfless or was it stupidity?  
With the excitement over, the guards finally made their presence known and the small group disbanded. Darwin and Alex returned to their table, Victor and Azazel went to theirs, though it was very clear that this still wasn't resolved.   
Logan just hoped he wasn't going to be dumb enough to inject himself in someone else's business again; he also hoped Erik would be back soon. He couldn't maintain control without him; he didn't want to.

*

All her hard work wasn't for nothing and Vange was able to successfully arrange for Charles to be transferred to the nearby hospital. She broke the news to him in person before taking her leave and promising to be waiting there for him.

It was a long process but Charles was eventually freed from the cuffs securing him to the bed and transferred to an ambulance for transport to the hospital. He was only vaguely aware of what was happening though because all he could think about was Erik.  
He was eventually settled in a private room in the hospital with his wrist once again secured to the bed frame. 

A Doctor came in not long after and started checking his vitals, something he didn't remember being done in the prison infirmary. She took his temperature and a blood sample; he didn't see the point in struggling and just let her do what needed to be done. It wasn't until she got too close that he protested. When she told him she needed to run a rape kit, he panicked and tried to argue but she simply sedated him again.  
When he came to, Vange was sitting by his bed flicking through a pile of paperwork.

"Vange?" His voice was hoarse. She offered him water. "What's going on?"

"You're in the hospital, Charles" she explained "and I'm going to do my best to make sure you don't have to go back there. With the victim awake, the charges can be filed and I'm petitioning to have you held here until a new arraignment date"  
"Erik?" He asked "what happened to him?"  
"Charles, you stabbed him. Why would you do that? Do you know how hard I worked to have you sent to the same prison as him and this is how you react?"  
He wasn't ready to address the fact that she'd sent him there on purpose; he would have preferred Erik not know he'd been arrested.  
"Please Vange, how is he?"

She leaned forward and took his hand in hers just as the Doctor returned.  
"Doctor MacTaggart" Vange addressed her "perhaps you can answer some questions for my client"  
"I have some questions of my own for my patient" she replied rather curtly.  
"Please Doctor?" Charles asked very politely. "Please?"  
She sighed and nodded. She'd probably get more information from him if she told him what he wanted to know.

"The other inmate who was brought in, the one who was stabbed" Charles began "how is he? Is he alright?"  
"Mr Xavier, you don't have to be afraid of him anymore"  
"Is he badly hurt?"  
"You won't be held accountable for his injuries since you acted in self-defence"  
"Is he okay?" Charles was growing impatient  
"He lost a lot of blood" she explained "he's out of surgery, for now"  
"What do you mean for now?"  
"The damage to his knee was very severe and will require multiple surgeries to completely repair"  
"Will he get them?"  
"The state isn't required to cover the expenses of non-life threatening surgery for inmates"  
"Are the surgeries expensive?"  
"Very"  
"What happens if he doesn't get them?"  
"The leg will heal but not perfectly... it's extremely likely he'll have a limp or require a cane"  
"But he'll make a complete recovery with the surgeries?"  
"Yes but state law won't cover the expense"

"I will" Charles insisted.  
"What?" The Doctor was confused.  
"Vange, please do what you have to to ensure all of Erik's treatments are covered"  
"Charles, I uh I can't" she replied "you don't have authority over your accounts"  
"Then find someone who does! Call Raven and explain everything to her"  
"Explain what? I don't even know what 'everything' is" she argued

"You don't have to do this" Doctor MacTaggart hastened to say "you don't need to feel any guilt over his injuries"  
Charles sighed.  
"His injuries are because of me" he explained.  
"It was self-defence"  
"No, it wasn't"  
"Mr Xavier, the man was your cell mate and he clearly assaulted you. You had every right to defend yourself"

"Vange, please believe me" Charles pleaded with his friend.  
"Charles, tell us exactly what happened so we can help you" she replied. Even she was confused as to why Charles would harm Erik so severely.  
He looked up at the Doctor.  
"Erik didn't do this to me" he explained to both of them "and I didn't do that to him"  
"Then why did you say you did?"  
"I had to..." he paused "I just... had to"  
"Why? Did someone threaten you?"  
"No... yes I but no"

He saw his Doctor and his lawyer exchange confused looks and knew he wasn't explaining himself properly but he didn't know how much he could tell them.

"Doctor, you uh ran a lot of tests on me, yes?" He asked her.  
"Correct" she replied "I ran every test I could think of. It was very clear to me that you'd been assaulted"  
"You uh ran a rape kit too, right?"  
"I did... its protocol in cases such as this to ensure you haven't been infected"  
"Erik was clean when he was arrested" Vange explained, she reached for her bag since Erik's file was in there too.  
"He still is" Charles insisted "but he wasn't the one who did that to me"

Charles attempted to sit up and he looked both women in the eye out of respect and to show he was being sincere and completely honest.  
"May I ask that what I have to say doesn't leave this room?" He looked at Vange "you have that whole client lawyer confidentiality thing" he turned to Doctor MacTaggart "and the whole patient doctor confidentiality thing, yes?"

Both of them sighed and reluctantly agreed. Doctor MacTaggart was less inclined but she was very curious as to what he was going to say.  
"Doctor, Erik is my boyfriend" he started.  
"How long were locked up in there?"  
"A week... I think"

"Erik and Charles were together before Erik was arrested" Vange explained "it's why I made sure Charles was sent to the same place while he was being held, waiting for an arraignment for charges to be made"  
"Oh... okay, please continue" 

"Erik's been protecting me since the minute I stepped through the gates" Charles continued "but there are some very... unseemly characters locked up in there and they made me a target. Erik did everything he could but he was outnumbered and they came for us... They were the ones who stabbed him and attacked me"  
"But why would you say it was you if it wasn't?" Vange asked.  
"Because... Erik has power in there; he protects a lot of inmates and stops a lot of violent things from happening... If word got out that someone else brought him down then they'd take that power from him and a lot of people would be in danger... I thought that if I claimed responsibility then it would just look like I snapped and that it was a freak incident"  
"Charles-"  
"Vange, you know how much I love him and that I would never do anything to hurt him"  
"I know"  
"So please, please let me help him... he needs surgery, you have to find a way to let me pay for it"  
"I'll see what I can do"

She got up and left the room, leaving Charles alone with his Doctor.  
"Mr Xavier" she addressed him  
"Please call me Charles"  
"Fine, Charles... you said 'they' attacked you, just how many men were involved in this attack?"  
"I... uh... I'm not uh not really sure"  
"Two? Three?"  
"I uh yeah I... I think so, maybe"  
She knew he was lying but chose not to press it. She would definitely have to arrange for a counsellor or therapist to come talk to him.

"Your lawyer seems very determined" she decided to change the subject.  
"She's definitely that" Charles agreed.  
"I'll let you get some rest"  
"Can you please do something for Erik? Anything at all?"  
"I can try but without the funding..."  
"Can you pass a message on for me?"  
"When he wakes up I might be able to"  
"Please can you tell him that I'm sorry this happened and that I love him"  
"I'll do my best, now please get some rest"

*

When Erik finally awoke he knew his body should be in more pain than it actually was and he wondered just how many painkillers they'd pumped into him. He looked around and knew he wasn't in the prison infirmary; he was definitely in a proper hospital which meant the damage had to've been severe.  
He tried to sit up and discovered his wrist was cuffed to the bed. His eyes scanned the room and he spotted the guard standing outside the door.

"How are you feeling?"  
The voice was soft but scared him half the death. He'd searched the room with his own eyes twice, how had he failed to notice he wasn't alone? The blurry shape in the corner stepped forward and his eyes finally adjusted. His lawyer, Evangeline, was the last person he'd expected to see here.

"Erik" she moved closer still "how are you feeling?"  
"I'm feeling these pain killers and they're amazing" he said to her "but how's Charles? Where is he? Is he alright? Can I see him?"  
"Whoa, slow down Erik" she smiled to reassure him "Charles is okay, he's here at the same hospital you are and he's holding up surprisingly well under the circumstances" she wasn't about to admit that he was likely to crack any second.  
"What happened? Is he... is he..."  
"He's still in shock" she confessed "he admitted to stabbing you"  
"Why would he do that? Will it hurt his case?"  
"He seems to think he's helping you"  
"Helping me?"  
"He said you have power in prison and that you help people. He was scared a lot of people would be hurt if you lost that power"

Erik closed his eyes; trust Charles to think of something like that. If word got out that Victor had taken Erik down, he'd be ruling the prison and causing a lot of trouble for people like Hank and Alex.  
"But what about Charles?" He asked "if people think he stabbed me, will they use it against him?"  
"They might... The evidence corroborates his story, that he was assaulted and used a weapon on his assailant in self-defence"  
"So I have to admit that I attacked him for him to be relieved of any responsibility for his actions?"  
"It might be a problem when his test results come back"  
"What results?"  
"For STIs... I know he was sexually assaulted but not by you and there's no telling what kind of medical issues the inmate who assaulted him did have"  
"Inmates" Erik corrected her as he blinked back tears. He refused to cry in front of her but the memory of them practically lining up to rape Charles was too fresh and too painful to ignore. The way Charles had looked at him from behind his tear-filled eyes...  
"Inmates? Erik, just how many were there?"  
"I'm not really sure... Three? Maybe four"

The expression of horror on her face was too much and Erik had to look away though he was glad he chose to lie to her.  
"Oh Erik; I'm so, so sorry" she sank down into the chair next to his bed.  
"Wait, what? Why are you sorry?"  
"Because I... I sent him to you, so you could protect him and..."  
"I failed"  
"No, do not blame yourself... We both know he's too pretty for his own good... it was probably inevitable anyway"  
"Why didn't you warn me?"  
"Warn you?"  
"That he was coming to me"  
"I tried but there wasn't time. I did call and request a meeting but was told you were under strict rules and weren't allowed any calls or visitors... I argued with everyone I could, insisting I speak with you as your lawyer but they found a way to railroad me every time by the time I made any progress Charles was already there and I was told he'd been assigned as your cellmate"  
"I went to the Warden and asked for him... Shaw's very easy to sway"  
"I thought he would be safer with you than risk him being on his own"  
"I understand and if I'd known in advance, I would have insisted on it... there's no way Charles would survive a place like that on his own"  
"I'm working on getting him out, for good"  
"That's a relief"  
"I know you're a few months short of parole yourself but I can't do much for you right now"  
"But you can help him?"  
"I'm doing everything I can to help him"  
"Good, keep doing what you're doing then... throw me under the bus if you have to just make sure Charles is safe"  
"He would never forgive me if I sold you out to protect him"  
"I don't care"  
"Well I do, Erik, we have to be sensible about this. If we're not careful, part of your parole could include staying away from him"  
"What do you mean?"  
"The official story here is that you assaulted him and he defended himself... if it comes up at your parole hearing, you could be deemed a threat to him"  
"So what do you suggest?"  
"Tell the truth before it's too late. The Doctors here only care about your health and not the politics of the prison yard"  
"You'll need to get Charles to change his story first"  
"I will... you know I'm going to do everything I can to get both of you out of here as soon as possible"  
"I know you will... When you see him, can you tell him... tell him I'm sorry this happened and that I... I..."  
"He knows" she reached into her pocket for her phone "but I think it'll mean more coming from you"  
She switched to the video camera on the phone and handed it to him with a small smile upon her lips.

*

Charles tried to rest but each time he closed his eyes all he could see was Victor's leering face, feel the way his hands were restrained then the memory as one by one each lined up to violate him. It was just his imagination but he could still feel the traces of come on the inside of his thighs and it made him want to be sick.  
He started to thrash about, trying to get away from the hands clawing at his clothes as he begged 'please, no, don't do this' but he awoke to find himself in hospital under the concerned eyes of his sister.

"Raven!" He cried as tears filled his eyes. She moved forward and wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as she blinked back tears of her own.  
"Charles, I'm so sorry, I had no idea..." she paused "Vange had been trying to reach me but I kept my phone off the entire time then I changed my plans and switched hotels and she had no way of reaching me... I only saw her email last night and was on the first plane out, I couldn't believe you'd been arrested then I land here and you're in hospital because Erik raped you-"  
"He didn't" Charles insisted "Erik would never hurt me"  
"Then who did?"  
He didn't want to tell her, he really didn't. How could he tell his little sister that six men assaulted him and stabbed his lover?  
"It's a long story, Raven"

She finally let go and pulled back but reached down and grasped his hand.  
"Vange said you need money" she started.  
"Erik got hurt protecting me and he needs surgery" he explained "expensive surgery"  
"And you want to pay for it"  
"It happened because of me; I have to cover it, I can't leave him to suffer... the state won't pay for it and he can't afford it but I can, so please Raven please do this for me"  
"It's already done, Charles" she explained as she brushed the tears from his cheeks "I completed the paperwork before coming in here; I wanted to come straight in but you were asleep so"

Charles's heart leapt into his throat and he tried to hug her but his wrist was restrained so she put her arms around him.  
"Thank you, Raven, thank you" he said as he sobbed with relief. Erik would be okay now... if only he hadn't been hurt in the first place.

"Now, talk to me Charles, explain to me how you got arrested and ended up in hospital" she needed to know everything.  
"It started just after you left on your trip, the guys didn't like my constant moping and decided to throw me a party..."

Charles was just reaching the end of his story when Doctor MacTaggart returned with Vange. They paused outside the door, listening as Charles explained the situation to his sister but once he started talking about his assault, he became edgy and almost hysterical. Doctor MacTaggart hurried into the room and administered a sedative which quickly put him to sleep.  
The three women exchanged pointed looks. Raven introduced herself to the doctor and apologized for getting her brother worked up; Doctor MacTaggart assured her it wasn't her fault and that it was a natural reaction on his part. Vange stated she had already put in a call to Charles's therapist so she could evaluate his state of mind. Her hope was to have him committed to the psychiatric ward for forty eight hour surveillance. By the time the evaluation period was over, he'd hopefully be a free man.

Seeing Charles like that wasn't easy for Raven; she'd already witnessed him breakdown once before after almost being assaulted and now here he was after being gang raped in prison. She was shocked they hadn't already put him in a strait jacket.  
Raven asked if she could see Erik but was quickly shot down; technically she wasn't meant to be in here with Charles as it was.  
Knowing it would be some time before she'd be allowed to see him again, she leaned down and kissed the top of his head before taking a step back; she then allowed Vange to escort her from the room and the two took their leave as they had much to discuss and not a lot of time to do it in.

*

The next time Charles awoke, he found himself in a different room of the hospital with his sister and his therapist, Emma, watching over him. It had been some time since his last appointment with Emma but it was a relief to see yet another familiar face; her usual, unreadable expression, was fixed upon her lips as she read over his chart.

"Emma?" Charles croaked.  
She glanced up from the paperwork in her hand and smiled reassuringly at him.  
"Hello Charles" she greeted him.  
"Vange called you?"  
"She did; said you needed a psych evaluation but I'm not going to put you through all that. I've already given my professional opinion that you must stay here a minimum forty eight hours"  
"We're not going to let anyone take you back there, Charles" Raven assured him.  
"And Erik?" He asked "what... what's happening with Erik?"  
"Uh Vange is still looking into that" Raven told him "he's having the first of the extra surgeries tomorrow and there seems to be a bit of a debate over whether to send him back or keep him here"  
"Is he okay?"  
"We haven't been allowed to see him; Vange has though so uh maybe ask her"  
"Is he okay?" He asked again; not satisfied with the answer he'd received.  
"He's fine" Raven offered "Vange would have said if he wasn't; if anything he's probably just as worried about you"  
"I want to see him"  
"I know you do" she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Doctor Frost has some questions for you so how about I go and see what I can find out?"  
"Thank you, Raven, thank you"

She kissed his forehead then turned and swept out of the room; the door closed behind her, leaving Charles alone with Emma and he sighed. He'd been meeting with her regularly ever since the assault Erik had saved him from. It hadn't been pleasant repeatedly talking about the attack and he was already dreading talking her through this latest one but he knew it was inevitable.

"How are you feeling, Charles?" She asked him. He simply shrugged and averted his eyes. "I know you don't want to talk about it right now but-"  
"The longer I put it off, the worse it'll get" he finished; he'd heard this spiel before "but I've already talked to Vange and Doctor MacTaggart and Raven"  
"Oh, I wasn't aware they all had psychology degrees"  
"They don't" he replied feebly "well, MacTaggart might but I didn't ask"  
"You know I'm only trying to help you"  
"Yes; I know, I know and I do appreciate it but I... I can't... please? Please don't make me relive it again"  
"Just once is all I ask; talk me through it once and then we'll move on"  
"I can't"  
"Don't make me resort to bribery, Charles"  
"I'd like to see you try"

She smiled to herself.  
"Vange has a video message for you from Erik" he looked up and stared at her, trying to determine if she was lying or not. "If you talk to me, she'll let you watch it and record one to send back to him"

His heart was hammering at the very thought of seeing and hearing Erik; of being able to communicate with his lover but he didn't want to relive his assault again; not right now. Tears began to fill his eyes, the promise of Erik was too strong and he hated Emma for playing with him like this but he knew she was doing this to help him.  
He reluctantly nodded his head and agreed to talk to her about his time spent locked up. Charles started at the beginning, from leaving the party and getting arrested to his reunion with Erik; he told her about the staged attack Erik had pulled off to protect him and even confessed to initiating a sexual encounter with Erik one night in their cell. It wasn't until he reached the part of his tale that Victor and his thugs had separated them that his voice began to waiver. He tried to stay strong; having told the story several times already but he found it wasn't getting any easier. Emma was patient and didn't press him, knowing he would get it all out in his own time. Once he reached the end, of waking up in the infirmary with Logan leaning over him, the tears were streaming down his cheeks but he definitely wasn't as hysterical as he had been upon telling the story to Vange or Raven.

Each time he told this story, he was forced to relive the assault which also stirred up memories of the past; it became a scattered mess in his mind of both attacks with Erik being forced to watch yet fighting the assailant at the same time. It confused him yet Emma assured him it was completely understandable.  
When Vange finally returned, Emma gave her the signal and she pulled out her phone. She opened the video then handed it to Charles who accepted it with a trembling hand. His heart was pounding as he stared at the image of his lover, preparing himself for what he was about to hear.

He watched the short video on a constant loop; each time it came to an end, he'd press 'play' again until he was able to watch it without tearing up. Erik's words were heartfelt, they cut deep as he apologized profusely for the pain and hurt he'd allowed to befall his lover. Charles wanted nothing more than to march straight to Erik's bedside and slap some sense into him. He had nothing to apologize for and Charles needed him to accept that.

Charles asked Vange permission to record a video of his own but spent so long trying to decide what he wanted to say that time got away from him, visiting hours were over for the day and he didn't want to rush it.  
Vange was reluctant to leave him but had no other choice. Charles spent a restless night in his private room, composing the perfect video message for Erik while fighting back the memory of his ordeal. Each time he nodded off to sleep, his dreams turned to nightmares and he'd wake in a sweaty panic.  
By morning he was jittery and on edge but he forced himself to keep his focus until Vange returned, he was determined to record a message for Erik. When she finally made an appearance, Charles tried not to cry with relief but she understood exactly where he was coming from and handed her phone to him before he could even ask.

Unfortunately she had other clients to see and attend to so was forced to take her leave though she promised to check on Erik on her way out.  
Once Vange left, Charles had very little to occupy his mind or to distract himself with so he fell back into a restless sleep but awoke quickly from his newest recurring nightmare when Doctor MacTaggart came to check on him, he begged to be sedated so he could rest. Her heart went out to the young man and she gave him enough to allow him time to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Charles remained in the hospital for the prescribed psychological evaluation. When the time was up, Vange appeared with mountains of paperwork and tried to explain everything to him but the only thing he wanted to know was where he was being sent. He didn't want to go back to prison, especially not without Erik but his love was still seeking treatment for his injuries and wasn't ready to be moved yet.   
When Vange told Charles that he was going home, he collapsed in a mix of relief and tears. She had somehow managed to arrange for him to be placed under house arrest until his next court appearance and he was perfectly okay with that as he had no intention of leaving his home for the foreseeable future.

He was taken back to the prison very briefly to collect his personal belongings and for the paperwork to be dealt with. It was all a great big blur to him; he kept his head down and only spoke when asked a direct question. The last thing he wanted was to see Victor or Azazel or any of the other men who had hurt him; it was a great relief to climb back into the car and finally be transported home.

Raven was waiting in the Lobby for him and threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly as she sobbed. He returned the embrace somewhat awkwardly while the police officer explained to the doorman that Charles was not permitted to leave the building.  
After what felt like an eternity, he was finally in his apartment, the officer was long gone and the only evidence of his recent ordeal was the monitor on his ankle and his sister's presence. Charles excused himself and made straight for his room. It looked exactly as he remembered, perhaps a touch tidier as his housekeeper had obviously been doing her job despite his absence, but appearances aside the entire room felt foreign to him; as though he didn’t truly belong there. He fled the bedroom and took refuge in the bathroom, collapsing upon the tiled floor as tears formed in his eyes. Charles wasn’t even sure why he was crying but once the first few tears had slipped down his cheeks, he couldn’t stop the rest and he slammed his fist against the floor in helpless frustration.

He was still curled up on the bathroom floor when Raven finally came looking for him; she’d wanted to give him time and privacy but quickly grew worried. She knocked on the door and was surprised when it opened at her touch. Moving cautiously into the room, she simply sank down on the floor beside Charles and pulled him into her arms. He continued to sob while drawing comfort from his sister.

“It’s okay” she whispered to him “it’s okay; just let it all out, Charles”  
He didn’t know what to say so he just cried; cried for the pain he’d suffered, the stupid mistakes he’d made and the pain Erik was still enduring. It was a long time before he ran out of tears to shed.

*  
As dictated by the terms of his house arrest, Raven had moved in with her brother until the arraignment as he was legally not allowed to be unsupervised. It had been several years since they’d lived under the same roof and Charles hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed having company. Living alone was great for one’s independence but could also be very lonely though he was missing Erik even worse than before.

Charles stepped into the Kitchen and found Raven cooking pancakes. His stomach immediately started to twist into knots; he wasn’t going to be able to keep anything down this morning.

“You’re up early” Raven greeted him. She was trying to sound chipper.  
“Couldn’t sleep” he admitted as he reached for the coffee pot. She immediately took it off him and pointed towards the kettle  
“Tea is more soothing than coffee” she assured him.  
“Then why tease me with the aroma of coffee?”  
But he knew he couldn’t handle coffee right now, he was jittery enough without the added caffeine. Charles prepared a cup of tea and slowly sipped it while Raven ate her pancakes; she didn’t even attempt to make him eat and for that he was grateful.

“Was there any mail this morning?” He asked her.  
“Not yet, it’s still too early” she replied between mouthfuls.  
“I thought Vange said Erik was being sent back... I... I thought he might’ve written...” he trailed off.  
“Maybe he’s waiting?”  
“For what? For things to go bad today and me to be sent back there?”

Raven reached out and placed her hand on top of her brothers, attempting to calm him before he could become too worked up.  
“He’s had a few surgeries, Charles” she explained “it takes a lot out of you, he’s probably waiting till he has his strength back and isn’t so groggy”  
Charles wanted so badly to believe her.  
“I don’t want to go back there” he whispered.

It was the first time he’d said the words out loud. He really didn’t want to go back to that prison or any other really even if he did feel he deserved to be punished for what he’d done. He still couldn’t bear the thought of seeing his attackers again nor could he imagine the chaos that was undoubtedly unfolding in Erik’s absence; he really hoped Sean and the others were okay.

The drive to the courthouse felt like it took hours yet also minutes as he felt he was going to pass out; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so nervous. Vange was there, so was Emma but even the sight of his friends weren’t enough to ease his jitters.  
There was a long wait before he was called forward and escorted into the courtroom. He recognized his victim’s family and lawyer but his entire brain had shut down. His throat was dry, head groggy and his stomach doing somersaults. It took all his resolve to force himself not to vomit from nerves.

Charles moved forward with Vange by his side. She was calm, collected, ever the professional and worth every cent he paid her. Vange presented the case in a very straightforward manner; she spoke of Charles’s character and integrity, his compassion and the regret he felt for his actions.   
He heard everything she said but his brain didn’t seem to comprehend any of it, he was still trying not to cry or pass out. She was very convincing in her argument, asking for leniency and for the judge to understand that Charles didn’t belong in prison. He was certain the stern man whose steely eyes were boring into him was aware of his ordeal in prison but he was also convinced the man was sadistic enough to send him back.

It was a shock and a relief when the judge accepted Vange’s suggested sentence. Raven threw her arms around her brother and cried with relief; Charles couldn’t hold back tears of his own and he promised himself to pay Vange double her usual fee.  
Charles left the courthouse without his ankle monitor and was now a free man, on the proviso he not commit any more felonies for the next three years. His license was also suspended but he could easily live without that; all that mattered was that he wouldn’t have to go back to prison.

He was in no mood to celebrate though and asked Raven to simply drive him home but once there he still didn’t know what to do with himself. Charles took a cup of tea out onto the balcony and simply sat there, staring out at the city but not really seeing any of it. For the past few weeks, his future had been uncertain; now he had an infinite number of possibilities before him, none of which appealed to him. All he really wanted right now was to lose himself in Erik’s embrace, curl up in his lover’s arms and never get up again but Erik was beyond his reach now and would be for several more months. He knew he should be grateful, that a couple of months wasn’t going to kill him; he was going to be reunited with Erik eventually and he was safe in his own apartment... much safer than he would’ve been in prison but seeing Erik again, being able to kiss and touch him for such a short time was almost an added punishment for he missed him even more now.

Raven stood by the doorway, watching her brother with a mix of relief and sadness in her eyes; she was so relieved Charles was home for good now but seeing the pain he was still suffering was difficult for her. It had taken a long time for him to adapt to Erik being away now they’d been reunited only to be quickly torn apart again.   
She knew she could move back home now that she wasn’t required to watch over Charles but her current room was next to his and she hadn’t failed to hear his outbursts from his nightmares during the night; she simply couldn’t leave him alone now.

*

Three days passed and Charles didn’t leave his apartment aside from sitting on the balcony. Raven tried to engage him in conversation but he was never in the mood; he spent hours on the balcony, staring at nothing or he’d lock himself in his bedroom and write insanely long letters to Erik. Each time Raven offered to mail the letters for him, he’d become defensive and tear them up, insisting he never intended for Erik to actually read them.

After a week of receiving no mail from Erik, Charles took a first step of initiative and texted Vange to ask if she’d seen or spoken to him lately. Her only response was word that his surgeries had gone well and he was recovering as hoped.  
This did little to reassure Charles and his reaction was to tell Raven to leave; she was confused but understanding and reluctantly went home herself. She believed a day or two on his own and he’d ask her back but was proven very wrong.

Once Raven left and Charles had his home back to himself, he became even more of a recluse; he spent the first two days in his pyjamas and only left his bedroom to go to the bathroom. He curled up in bed and cried; he paced around the room, throwing items back and forth; he broke the television by throwing a large, heavy bookend at the screen before breaking down in tears.  
On the fourth day, he received a call from the doorman in the lobby who announced he had a visitor. Charles insisted he wasn’t up for company and asked to be left alone but not even five minutes later there was a knock at his door.

He pulled on his robe and reluctantly opened the door as John was the last person he wanted to see right now. The younger man came waltzing into the apartment with an air about him that Charles had always deemed ‘carefree’ but now it just felt ‘irritating’. John was quick to scoff at Charles in his robe, his disorderly appearance and the fact he hadn’t showered in three days.  
He continued to annoy Charles in the same way he’d done that fateful night he’d forced Charles to host a party he hadn’t been in the mood for. For the first time, Charles wasn’t angry at himself anymore as he transferred all his feelings into his hatred of John. He wondered how or why he’d ever been friends with the man and he finally snapped, releasing a tirade of all the things he’d always wanted to say to him but had never had the conviction.   
John simply laughed though his eyes told a different story as he’d never seen Charles in such a state. He left not long after and texted Raven on the way out, letting her know that her brother had officially lost it.

Raven turned up with food for dinner that night; it was the only reason Charles let her inside the door as he hadn’t eaten since he’d kicked her out. She took one look at him but didn’t say a thing, just moved into the kitchen to start cooking.  
While she worked, she heard the shower running and felt a touch of relief. By the time Charles reappeared, dinner was ready so the two of them sat down to eat.

“John texted me” Raven told him after she’d finished her meal. Charles paused, trying to think of something appropriate to say.  
“John’s an ass” he stated.  
“Well yeah obviously” she replied “what took you so long to realize?”  
“I don’t know” he admitted.  
“So what happened? Do you want to talk about it?”  
“I got sick of blaming myself, I guess, so now I’m blaming him”  
“Because if he hadn’t thrown that party, you wouldn’t have been arrested?”  
“Something like that”  
“It wasn’t his fault that you chose to drive that night”  
“I know but it is his fault that I told him to piss off and leave me alone but he showed up with fifty people I’d never met and tried to set me up with five of them”  
“Charles”  
“Two were already a couple” he explained “he told me Erik wouldn’t care”  
“And that’s why you left”  
“John never understood... he doesn’t get that Erik and I love each other... that Erik is the only man I ever want to be with”  
“And that’s why you called him a self-centred jerk?”  
“Amongst other things”  
“I don’t know if I should scold or congratulate you, Charles”  
“I guess I was a bit out of line but” he paused “it’s been a long time coming”  
“Charles-“  
“It’s okay... I don’t need friends like him”

Raven held her tongue; Charles didn’t exactly have a large circle of friends and he wasn’t particularly good at making new ones either.

“How are you holding up with everything?” She asked him, carefully.  
“I’m fine, Raven” he insisted.  
“And the dreams?”  
“What dreams?”  
“You don’t have to hide anything from me. I heard you, most nights, you were screaming in your sleep”  
“And you didn’t wake me?”  
“I tried; the first night. I came to check on you but you snapped out of it real quick and started talking to yourself... I heard you tell yourself to be quiet, to not wake me and I... didn’t want you to feel embarrassed”  
“It happened last time too” he confessed “after Erik was locked up; I had nightmares every night about what had happened... my mind kept wanting to show me what would have happened if Erik hadn’t been there to protect me”  
“Charles”  
“They stopped though... eventually and I was okay... I’ve been fine all this time, just waiting for Erik to come back to me but its different this time”  
“Because Erik was there to protect you and he didn’t?”  
“This was not his fault!” Charles insisted.  
“I know” she reached out and placed her hand on top of his “I know but that doesn’t change the fact that it happened”  
“Raven-“  
“Do you need me to come and stay again? I’m not needed back at work yet”  
“I don’t need a babysitter” Charles declared “not legally anymore”  
“If you need the company”  
“I don’t; I really just want to be left alone for a while”  
“Can you at least make the effort to shower every day then?”  
“I’ll try but no promises”

*

Raven was desperate for Charles to make more of a step towards recovery so with no other options left to try, she drove to Vange’s office and cornered her about Erik’s condition. She told her that Erik had already been transferred back to prison. When she asked why Charles hadn’t been told, Vange admitted that Erik hadn’t wanted him to know. Now even more confused, Raven headed to the prison then waited over three hours to see Erik.

She was subjected to several security checks before being allowed into the visitors room and was left waiting almost twenty more minutes before he appeared, escorted by two guards and walking on crutches. He sat down behind the glass and stared at her in shock. He immediately grabbed the phone off the wall.

“Raven!” He sounded terrified. “What is it? What’s happened to Charles?”  
“Why do you just assume something’s happened?”  
“Why else would you be here?”

She stopped and really looked at him, at the fear in his eyes and finally realized how this may look to him of course her turning up out of the blue would only mean bad news.  
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to alarm you, Erik... Charles doesn’t know I’m here” she paused, unsure if what to say exactly “He’s... home, safe and coping”  
“Coping?”  
“Well he’s not great but he’s not off his rocker either if that’s what you wanted to know”  
“Then why are you here?”  
“To see how you’re holding up”  
“Since when did you start caring about my wellbeing?”  
“Since you got arrested for protecting my brother” she replied honestly “I know we weren’t exactly friends but it’s obvious how much you love him, how you’d do anything for him but you’ve had no contact with him since his release and I want to know why”

She watched in silence as his eyes filled with tears but he immediately blinked them away; she wondered if she’d just imagined it.  
“He was hurt, Raven, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it” he confessed “you can’t even begin to imagine what he went through but I had to watch it. Do you know how hard it was for me to sit there, bleeding and fighting every second to get to him? To fail to protect him?”  
“You were outnumbered and unarmed” she told him “you did everything you could”  
“It wasn’t enough!” He slammed his hand down upon the table. A guard started towards him but Raven waved her hand to indicate it was okay so he backed away.

“Erik, what’s happened since you came back here?” She was curious to know.  
“They put me in solitary for the time being” he admitted “the warden says it’s because of my injuries; I’m not ill enough to be in medical but if they put me in the yard then my crutches could be used as a weapon”  
“So you just sit alone in a cell all day long?”  
“I was able to bring my books with me but honestly I’m getting a bit sick of them”  
“I’ll try to get some new ones to you”  
“Thank you”  
“So you uh don’t have access to pen and paper? Or a phone?”  
“Raven-“  
“Please, Erik? Charles needs to hear from you!”  
“I can’t... I don’t know what to say to him”  
“Erik-“  
“When I first came here, I called him as often as I could but all he’d do was spend the entire time either crying or apologizing... If I call him now, all I’ll be able to hear is the pain in his voice”  
“But he needs to hear your voice, to know that you’re still there for him”  
“He was hurt because of me... again! You know, while he was in here, he told me he’d wish we’d never met because my life was better without him... but the truth is, his was better before he met me”  
“Erik, he loves you and he misses you”  
“He should blame me for all of it; he deserves to wipe his hands of me and find someone who won’t keep causing him so much pain”  
“God, Erik, the mere thought of blaming you for any of this would never, ever cross his mind. Please, Erik, call him or write to him, just do something to show him that you still love him”  
“I’ll try but I just don’t know what to say”  
“That you love him and you’ll see him soon”  
“Soon? It’s months away, Raven”  
“Just remember that he’ll still be there waiting for you when that time is up”

As she made the hang up the phone, he placed his hand upon the glass and indicated he had one last thing to say. She held the receiver to her ear and looked at him.  
“Before you go, I need a favour”  
“A favour?”  
“I promise I will call Charles tonight if you do something for me”  
“What is it?”  
“I need you to get Vange to look into the arrest and conviction of one of the men in here”  
“Is he one of the ones who hurt Charles?”  
“No, he wouldn’t hurt a fly and he shouldn’t be in here”  
“Erik-“  
“Please, talk to Vange; ask her to help him... he won’t last seven years in here, especially not once I’m gone”  
“I...”  
“Please? Raven”

She stared into his eyes and could see the honesty behind his gaze; he was genuinely worried for the well-being of this inmate.  
“Give me the name and I’ll see what I can do” she felt herself give in too easily.  
“Thank you, Raven. Thank you!”

**********

It proved difficult not to tell her brother she’d been to see Erik; Raven had believed since it wouldn’t be likely to come up in conversation, she wouldn’t have to let it slip but seeing Charles still in such a downward spiral, it took all her self-control not to say anything. Was she being selfish? Perhaps but she still wasn’t sure her visit had done any good; she did have a lot more on her mind now though.  
Raven had written down the name of the inmate Erik had asked her to help but now she had to decide what to do about it.   
Who was this man and why was Erik so concerned for his safety? Had Erik taken a lover while inside and wanted to make sure he could still see him once he was free? That didn’t make a lot of sense especially since Raven knew how devoted he still was to Charles...

She was sitting on the couch in Charles’s living room; phone in hand with the browser open to google. She didn’t know how much she’d be able to find out about him from just his name but was curious. Raven had just pressed the search button when the phone behind her started to ring.  
She made to stand up but stopped, it was Charles’s home, and surely the call would be for him.

On the fifth ring, he stumbled into the room, muttering to himself and made a snide comment about her insisting on being in his home, she could at least be useful; he snatched up the phone and was very curt with whoever was on the other end.  
In an instant, his entire demeanour changed; his eyes filled with tears and he gasped a single word.  
“Erik?”

Raven sat up and looked at her brother, the relief that washed over his entire body and the tears that were spilling down his cheeks. His hand was shaking as he reached out and grasped the countertop.  
She didn’t need to hear the conversation but she wasn’t sure what state Charles would be in by the end of the call so she quietly slipped outside onto the balcony with her own phone and gave him the privacy he’d need.

Once outside, she turned back to her phone and the google search. There wasn’t much to go on but Erik had kept his word so it was only fair she at least talk to Evangeline, if Vange didn’t think it was worth pursuing then that was up to her but Raven would have done her part.  
She remained on the balcony, glued to her phone in a bid to learn all she could about this mystery inmate. Having made the decision to approach their lawyer, she knew she had to go in person so it would have to wait till morning. Raven watched her brother through the window; it wasn’t long before he collapsed with the phone still in his hand. She hurried back inside and helped him to his feet; the tears, the pain, the relief, all very prominent upon his face.

“Charles, are you alright?” She whispered.  
“He blames himself for all of it” he told her “but it wasn’t his fault! It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t his fault”

Charles kept up the mantra as Raven hung up the phone then helped him back to the bedroom. He sank down on the bed and grasped her hand, silently begging her to stay. She sat down beside him and listened to his quiet sobs while fighting back tears of her own, Erik’s voice echoed in her mind ‘you can’t even begin to imagine what he went through but I had to watch it’.  
Raven reached out and hugged her brother protectively; she couldn’t imagine the pain, suffering, he’d been through, she didn’t want to but she could be here to help him move past it... even though the one thing he truly needed was Erik. 

“It’s okay, Charles” she whispered in what she hoped was a soothing tone “just let it all out”  
“I miss him” he sobbed “so much”  
“I know, I know”  
“How am I going to get through these next few months without him?”  
“Just remember you’re not alone”  
“That’s what Erik said”  
“What else did he say? If you want to tell me...”  
“That he loves me, always has and always will”  
“He always knows just the right thing to say, doesn’t he?”  
Charles looked up at her and his face broke into a timid smile.  
“Always has and always will”

*

Raven knew she wasn’t needed but stayed the night at her brother’s place just in case though she left early the following morning as she wanted to catch Evangeline before work. When she got to the office, she was too early and went into the coffee shop next door to watch for her but was surprised when she pushed the door open and immediately bumped into her.

“Raven?” Vange greeted her “what brings you down here at this time of the morning? Is it Charles? Is he alright?”  
“Charles is... is... he’s Charles” she didn’t know what else to say “I actually came looking for you though”  
“Me?”  
“Yeah; how do you feel about doing some pro-bono work?”  
“Well, your brother did just pay me more than double my usual rate so I might be feeling a little generous”  
“Erik asked me to talk to you about helping one of the other inmates” she reached into her pocket and pulled out a piece of paper with his name written on it “he seems to think the guy’s not gonna make it and he wants to help him”

Vange frowned as she took it from her; she was tempted to ask why Erik had gone to her and a few other choice questions but went straight to the big one.  
“What’s he in for?” She wanted to know.  
“I’m not sure”  
“And he’s not one of the ones responsible for-“  
“I thought that too... that maybe Erik wants him out so he can get revenge but I don’t think so. Can you look into it for me?”  
Vange tucked the paper away in her pocket.  
“I’ll look at the case file today if I get the chance”  
“Thanks”  
“And we probably shouldn’t mention this to Charles at all”  
“Probably not”  
“I’ll be in touch”

*

Raven returned to her brother’s home and found him curled up on the couch, reading a book, this triggered the memory of her promise to Erik. 

“Good book?” She casually asked.  
“No idea” Charles confessed somewhat absently “I haven’t taken in a word of it”  
“Maybe you should send it to Erik?”  
“What makes you say that?”  
She shrugged her shoulders “he’s recovering from surgery, probably hasn’t got much else to do”

Charles frowned as he visualized Erik in his cell, his leg bandaged up and unable to move. The shelf of books had been very bare since Charles hadn’t thought to send him many nor was Erik the type to ask for anything though he did admit that he’d loaned each to Hank too. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to send him a few more books.

“That’s true... He must be really bored in there” Charles continued “not able to do any work, probably can’t even go out into the yard”  
“He spends a lot of time in the yard?” Raven asked as she sat down next to him.  
“He liked the fresh air” Charles admitted “was always trying to drag me out there but I didn’t like it much; too many other prisoners... a lot of them were very vocal in what they thought of me”  
“Surely Erik didn’t like that”  
“He didn’t; told me just to ignore it though. It was fine as long as he was around... None of them would come near me if Erik was within sight”  
“So Erik was the only person you ever talked to in there?” She was careful not to push but Charles had said so little of his time inside.  
“What?” He frowned in confusion “oh no, no there were some... nice guys too”  
“Nice guys?”  
“Well for prison inmates I’d say they were nice... some were young; I never asked what any of them were in for, was too afraid of what their response would be” he paused “I really hope Sean’s okay”  
“Who’s Sean?”   
“He was just a kid who was brought in with me” Charles could still remember the look of fear in the younger man’s eyes as they’d been led inside. “He was waiting for an arraignment too so he might even be out by now” he paused “God, I hope he’s out”

Raven watched as her brothers eyes glazed over. She hoped he wasn’t going to get upset again.  
“So Sean helped you get through it all? Sean and Erik?” She pressed a little further. Charles sighed and put the book aside before tucking his legs up to his chest.  
“Sean was a distraction from my problems” he admitted “he was scared; I was scared but I had Erik and Erik protected me... he protected all of us”  
“You said he had a lot of power in there” It wasn’t a question but she hoped he’d take it that way.

“He was practically running the place” Charles stated “said he’d spent months making it possible but he didn’t let it go to his head; he kept the place in line... he protected some of the... weaker inmates or the... pretty ones”  
“The pretty ones?”  
“Alex” Charles shifted in his seat “with his blonde hair and blue eyes; he was very pretty to look at”  
“Until you came along?” She didn’t mean for it to sound like she was teasing but it wasn’t exactly a secret that Charles was too pretty for his own good.  
“They would’ve eaten me alive if Erik hadn’t been there” he whispered “but Alex had Darwin... I... I didn’t even know they were together, they hid it so well”  
“So you made a friend or two along the way?”  
“I guess so... if one wants to admit to being friends with hardened criminals” he paused “some days it was difficult not to ask their crimes. Alex, Darwin, Hank; they were all under Erik’s protection”  
“Did Erik know what they were in for?”  
“Oh he’d have to but it didn’t seem right asking him either”  
“He wouldn’t have wanted you to associate with people who he deemed dangerous though”

“Logan was in for murder” Charles admitted to her “and he’s the one person in there Erik trusts with his life; he’s the only one he told the truth about me and him to”  
“Murder?” Raven knew it shouldn’t be surprising especially since Erik was technically locked up for the same thing.  
“His niece was raped and the guy managed to escape a prison sentence so Logan tracked him down and shot him; his only defence being that he was stopping the guy from doing it again to another innocent girl”  
“So he and Erik bonded over being locked up on similar charges”  
“Something like that... But Logan was a pretty good guy. He was the one who triggered the alarm when...” he trailed off, remembering how Logan had scared off his attackers. A memory stirred of waking in medical with Logan watching over him with a concerned expression upon his face. “He even came to check on me after... but I was really out of it at the time”

Raven reached out and placed her hand on top of Charles’  
“Erik’s been there a while” she said “it’s... nice he made a friend”  
“They respect each other” Charles explained “they both believe they did the right thing”  
“Erik thinks killing is the right thing?”  
“He regrets what he did but he believes he was protecting me and that’s all he’s ever cared about”  
“He loves you” Raven whispered “so much”  
“He really does”

Charles curled his fingers, grasping his sister’s hand tightly.  
“I miss him” he said very softly.  
“I know” she replied “but… he’ll be out of there, eventually and…” she paused “have you uh did you two talk about what would happen once he was… free”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You put all his stuff in storage; he has nowhere to live and no job”  
“He’ll live here with me, obviously”  
“Okay”  
“Raven, I can’t be away from him anymore and I asked him, outright, one night in our cell, and he said yes, he wants us to live together”  
“I’m happy you’ve got something to look forward to, Charles”  
“I just wish I knew what to do with myself until then”  
“You’ll think of something, I know you will”


	3. Chapter 3

Hank had been on edge for several days now and took every opportunity he could to stick very close to Logan, not because he genuinely enjoyed the man’s company but he felt safer under his watchful eye. Neither Victor or Azazel had made any further attempts to take over as Top Dog but Hank knew it was only a matter of time before their power struggle would come to a head and one of them would emerge victorious, he wasn’t sure which one he was hoping to see win as he was more praying that Erik would return from solitary in time to take control again.  
He was sitting in the yard, a few feet away from Logan, when a shadow fell upon him and he looked up. His heart was thumping as he feared the worst but was surprised to find a guard towering over him.

“McCoy” he grunted “your lawyer’s here”  
“My lawyer?” he repeated, very confused.  
“Get up; she doesn’t strike me as one who likes to be kept waiting”

Frowning in confusion, he climbed to his feet and followed the guard through the grounds to the meeting rooms. He was more puzzled when he was escorted into a small room and found a very attractive woman with dark hair waiting for him.

“Mr McCoy” she greeted him with an outstretched hand and a comforting smile “Evangeline Whedon”  
“Uh hi?” he shook her hand and they both took a seat.  
“I’ve reviewed your case and I might have some good news for you” she cut right to the point.  
“My case? I… I’m sorry but who are you?”  
“I’m a friend, working on behalf of another friend”  
“You’re lying; I don’t have any friends”  
“That’s what you think”  
She shuffled the papers on the table before her and started rapidly firing off information about his case, his crime and his sentence. He was very impressed with how much she knew but also somewhat uncomfortable. Who was this woman and why did she wish to help him?

“Miss Whedon-” he began.  
“Vange” she corrected him while cutting him off.  
“Okay, Vange, I don’t understand what’s going on here. Why would you want to help me?”  
“I told you, I’m a friend and I’m going to get you out of here”

*

Hank was in a daze for several days as he constantly replayed his conversation with Vange over and over in his mind. She’d asked many questions but gave very few answers; she’d researched his case inside and out and asked him things he’d never been asked before. When she told him she was going to get him out, a part of him believed her yet he didn’t want to get his hopes up. He’d resigned himself to being in here for a long time, no prospects for his future… What would become of him if he did eventually get out?

It wasn’t until a fight broke out between Victor and Azazel in the middle of the yard that was broken up by Erik’s reappearance that Hank started to put two and two together. Erik looked to still be in pain but was no longer relying on a cane so his menacing voice brought silence to all in the vicinity yet it was over as soon as it had begun and within minutes, Erik was sitting at his usual table with Logan.   
After all the commotion had died off, several inmates approached to welcome Erik back but both Azazel and Victor immediately made themselves scarce. Hank waited until Logan had also taken his leave before approaching Erik himself.

He sank down into a chair opposite and immediately held the older man’s gaze.  
“Welcome back, Erik” Hank greeted him.  
“Hello Hank. I’ve got a few more books for you”  
“Really?” he hadn’t been expecting him to say that “I uh I can’t wait to read them… How’s your leg?”  
“Healing”  
“And Charles…” he lowered his voice “do you uh know how uh how he’s…?”  
“Physically he’s fine but” Erik paused “his sister’s worried about him, fuck I’m worried about him”  
“Have you talked to him or…?”  
“A few times... His sister came to see me so I uh promised to… I didn’t uh after he left the hospital and I came back here, I didn’t want to… distract him”  
“Distract him? Erik, he-”  
“I don’t want to talk about it, Hank” Erik abruptly cut him off.

Hank started to reach for his hand but quickly stopped himself.  
“I know he loves you” he said very softly “not hearing from you would have hurt him”  
“I know” Erik wouldn’t meet Hank’s gaze “I hate being in here while he’s out there, going through… all that…again!”  
“Erik-”  
“Hank, don’t… You don’t know what he’s going through, what I’m going through-”  
“Obviously” Hank agreed “but I uh I’m not here to talk to you about him, I wanted to ask you something else”  
“Oh?”  
“I had a visit the other day from Evangeline Whedon” he watched Erik carefully as he said the name, hoping to see some recognition on the older man’s face but Erik remained stoic “I know you’ve heard of her”  
“Why would I know who she is?”  
“Erik, please, just be honest with me”  
“We’re being watched, let’s talk about this later”

Hank turned, his eyes scanned the immediate vicinity and he could see both Victor and Azazel watching them. He looked at Erik and nodded in understanding before getting to his feet and walking away.

*

It was several hours later when Erik came limping into Hank’s cell, with several books tucked under his arm. He didn’t knock or announce his arrival, simply just wandered in and deposited the books upon Hank’s bed.

“Erik?” Hank sat up and looked at his visitor.  
“I’ll keep this quick” Erik said to him in a low voice “Vange isn’t just my lawyer, she’s also Charles’s and now she’s yours and she is going to do everything she can to get you out of here”  
“But why? Why would she do that?”  
“Because I need you out there… I’m here for a few more months but you shouldn’t be. It’s purely person though because I… I need you to keep an eye on Charles until I can get out of here”  
“Erik-”  
“Vange is an amazing lawyer, I believe in her and I know she can do it… So… Once you’re free, go to Charles and you stay with him until I’m free. He’ll look after you, I promise”  
“But Erik-”  
“No, Hank, you don’t belong here. I never really cared either way if you did or didn’t but I guess I started seeing you through Charles’s eyes and… he has no idea why you’re in here but I never would have let you anywhere near him if I thought for a second that you were actually guilty”  
“What am I supposed to say to him? If I get out that is”  
“When! When you get out, you tell him the truth… that you’re there on my orders”  
“And if he slams the door in my face?”  
“He won’t, trust me, he won’t”

**--**

It didn’t take long for Charles to fall into a routine. He’d stay in bed most of the day, roll out long enough to find some food then he’d set himself up beside the phone until Erik phoned. As soon as his very short phone contact ended, he’d crawl back into bed.  
He wasn’t allowed to drive himself anywhere but that didn’t bother him as he had no intention of going out or inviting anyone over. Raven made periodic checks on him, often with several bags of groceries which were enough to see him through until her next visit. According to the doorman and the security guards, Charles never left the building nor did he have any visitors aside from Emma and her last two house calls hadn’t seen her being allowed into the apartment.

Raven was beyond worried about her brother, she watched almost helplessly as his condition worsened. He seemed to be eating less, talking less and showering less. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen Charles look so unkempt... Yes, she could… when Erik had first been sent to prison. Charles had locked himself in his bedroom for a week and had only showered when Raven had paid John to break the door down and throw a bucket of water over him. It hadn’t been her finest hour but it had been the wakeup call he’d needed. At least he was leaving his room for his daily phone call from Erik this time.

*

Charles was shaking as he hung up the phone and sank to the floor with tears in his eyes.   
Hearing Erik’s voice just wasn’t enough, he wanted to see him, to be held by him. Being away from him again just stirred up too many memories of his arrest and the days following his incarceration when Charles had been all alone to deal with the aftermath of his almost assault… but this time it was different. There was no almost, it had been actual rape and at the hands of multiple assailants, in front of Erik.   
The memory was too much and he didn’t know how to erase it. He’d tried to drown it out with alcohol but had very quickly run out as he’d never kept much in the apartment nor did he wish to venture out into the world to purchase more.

He was still hugging himself very tightly, trying not to think about it but remembering the way Victor’s fingers had breached him, dug into him, bruised him. Charles fought to hold back a sob but there was no one to see or hear him, he was alone with only his memories and the pain for company so he let go and cried out in anguish as he curled his body into a ball. He stayed like that for a long time, intended to remain for possibly the rest of the afternoon but he was brought around by the intercom. He stumbled to his feet and fisted the button, told security or the doorman or whoever was bothering him to just leave him the fuck alone.

“I’m very sorry to disturb you, Mr Xavier” the voice on the other end was calm and collected, not fazed by Charles’s gruffness “but you have a visitor”  
“Tell them to fuck off” Charles snapped.  
“Mr Xavier, the gentlemen insists he’s here about the advertised job”  
Charles reached up and rubbed his eyes. He had no idea what he was talking about nor was he in the right mood or state of mind to deal with it.  
“There is no advertised job” Charles told him “unless….” He paused “fuck”  
“Shall I send him up or…?”  
“Raven is going to pay for this...” he sighed “does he at least have good references?”  
“He uh doesn’t appear to have any, sir”  
“Why on Ea… Fuck… Just send him up and I’ll get rid of him. One look at me and he’ll be off in a shot”  
“Are you certain, sir?”  
“Yes, send him up” 

Charles moved away from the intercom and towards the door, waiting for the knock. He didn’t bother to change or freshen up; convinced the worse he looked the less this random stranger would want to work for him. He hadn’t advertised any jobs but vaguely remembered Raven mentioning having to hire a driver for him. Charles wasn’t in a hurry to pay someone to chauffer him around as he didn’t intend to go out ever again.   
His robe was falling down so he hoisted the shoulder back in place as someone knocked upon the door. He moved forward, trying to remember the last time he’d brushed his hair or teeth as he reached for the handle but paused with his hand mid-reach.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d allowed a stranger into his home; what if this man with no references was here to hurt him? Maybe he shouldn’t open the door? The memory of Victor’s fingers digging into his skin, his tongue upon his neck, sent shivers down his spine and his eyes teared up again.

The knock sounded again, louder and more incessant. Charles closed his eyes and placed his hands over his ears to block out the sound as he shouted for the stranger to go away and leave him alone. The rattling caused him to look up as he realized whoever was on the other side of the door was trying to open it. Charles was on his way towards the phone to call security when the visitor called out to him.

“Please, Charles?” the familiar voice shouted “Erik promised you wouldn’t turn me away”

He stopped in his tracks and spun around, staring at the closed door. He couldn’t quite believe it but he started to move towards it anyway then he reached out and threw the door open; standing before him was Hank. Charles almost didn’t recognize him and from the look on the younger man’s face, it was clear he almost didn’t recognize Charles either.

“Hank?” Charles gasped.  
“Charles? Is that really you?” Hank asked, nervously.  
“What are you… how did… Erik?”

He knew he wasn’t making any sense but he stepped aside and indicated for Hank to come inside then he immediately headed for the kitchen, intending to make a cup of tea. Charles sensed Hank following him, heard the door close behind him. He busied himself preparing the water but didn’t say a word while he worked, he couldn’t think what to say, there were too many questions he wanted to ask.

“You scrub up well” Charles winced as he said the most ridiculous thing that came to mind.  
“It’s amazing what a shower and non-prison garb can do for your appearance” Hank replied. “Speaking of showers…”  
Charles glanced down at his own dishevelled appearance; there were stains on his shirt, his sweatpants had holes in them and he hadn’t shaved in over a week. For the first time in weeks he felt ashamed.  
“How did you find me?” he asked Hank. “How did you get out? Where did you get the clothes?”  
“Vange”

It wasn’t the answer he was expecting. Charles turned and looked up at Hank in surprise.  
“Vange helped you?” Charles asked “why?”  
“Because Erik asked her to” Hank explained “she came to see me and reviewed my case. She works fast and had an appeal and all this other legal stuff that I don’t understand but it took over a month and here I am”  
“You came straight here?”  
“No” he paused “I got out yesterday and was met by Vange and Raven”  
“My sister was in on this too?”  
“It was all Erik… He’s worried about you and…” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper “he explains it all in this letter”

Hank held the paper out for Charles who simply stared, his eyes darting from the folded page to Hank’s face and back again. He reached out, snatched it from Hank’s grasp and just held it in his shaking hand. Without taking his eyes from the paper, Charles told Hank to help himself to anything he wanted in the kitchen then he turned and left the room. He made his way through the apartment and into his bedroom where he closed and locked the door then sank down onto the bed to read Erik’s letter.  
It was short and direct but the sentiment was there. Erik’s written words of love and affection brought tears to Charles’s eyes and he curled up on the bed, clutching the letter as he cried.

*

When Charles finally emerged from his room, he found Hank sitting at the bench in the kitchen with an empty cup of coffee in his hand. He moved toward the pot and felt that it was now cold; he’d obviously been in his room a long time. There was an awkward silence between them as Charles started nervously searching the cupboards for what little food he had.

“If you don’t want me here-” Hank started to say.  
“I never said you weren’t welcome here” Charles replied.  
“Did uh Erik’s letter say…”  
“You don’t know what it said?”  
“Of course not… He asked me to give it to you, never said I could read it”  
“You weren’t even curious? Tempted to sneak a peek?”  
“I was very curious but I respect Erik and you and I owe my freedom to him so I’ll do anything he asks of me, ever, because I’m forever grateful” 

“Well” Charles began “I’ve read his version and now I’d like to hear yours”  
“Not really much to say” Hank replied “Erik was terrified that you’d be in a downward spiral. He hated the idea of you being out here, suffering without him, and he wanted someone to keep an eye on you. Erik talked to Raven and she spoke to Vange and got the ball rolling… I was scared, of course, because I have nowhere to go even though my record has been wiped clean… So Erik told me to come to you but when I got out, Raven and Vange were waiting for me and they took me to a hotel, got me all cleaned up and Raven offered me a job”  
“My sister gave you a job”  
“She hired me to be your driver”  
“Well, the joke’s on her because I don’t go out anymore”  
“Yeah, she mentioned that… She also told me it didn’t pay much of a salary but included a place to live”  
“Of course you can stay here, Hank, you don’t need a job to do that”  
“Thank you, Charles, but I need to earn my keep somehow”

There was no warning as Charles suddenly broke down in tears. Seeing Hank again was stirring up too many memories, ones he’d been haunted by for weeks already. He sank to the floor but was surprised when Hank actually came to his aid, the younger man slid his arm around him and pulled him to his feet then he helped him over to the couch. Charles was shaking and rocking in Hank’s embrace.

“I’m sorry” Charles sobbed “I’m sorry I shouldn’t…”  
“It’s okay Charles” Hank reassured him “you’ve been through hell”  
“I miss Erik, so much”  
“He misses you too”  
“Seeing you just stirred up a lot of memories”  
“I understand… if having me around is too painful-”   
“No! If Erik sent you then he must believe it’s for the best… His letter said being around someone who knows what it’s like to be inside, will help”

Hank nodded in agreement as Charles pulled away from him.  
“Being out is weird” Hank told him “it’s only been a day but being able to do what I want, when I want… it’s something I’d almost forgotten what it felt like… Before I got locked up, I was dating this girl and she was… well in a gang, kind of, and I sort of fell in with them so there was a hierarchy that I was on the bottom of so… I haven’t really been my own person for a long time… Being inside was terrifying but gave me a routine”  
“You’re free to be you here, Hank”  
“Thank you, Charles”  
“I wasn’t inside very long but sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago and other times I feel like time has frozen and… I wake up in the middle of the night or day and I’m convinced Victor or Azazel is going to come through the door and…” he trailed off in a fit of tears.  
“They’re not here, Charles. Victor and Azazel will never come near you, ever again”  
“I know but they’re still in my head”  
“And they will be until you do what you can to get them out”  
“Hank-”  
“I’m sorry but Raven told me you haven’t been going to therapy”  
“Of course she did” 

Hank reached out and placed his hand on Charles’s arm.  
“I know I just got here and I’m about to speak out of turn” he said “but look at yourself, Charles. You look like crap! What if it hadn’t been me at the door but Erik? Would you want him to see you like this?”

Charles leapt to his feet in anger.  
“Well it was you, wasn’t it? Not Erik! Because Erik is still in PRISON for protecting me! He‘s locked up, because of me! Everything that’s happened to him is my fault! So of course I look like crap, I deserve to look like crap because I am crap!”  
With those words lingering in the air, Charles took off and ran into his room, slammed the door shut behind him. He locked the door then sank to the floor, resting his back against the closed door and buried his face in his hands. Hank’s words had cut him deep because they were true but he wasn’t ready to forgive himself just yet. He deserved this, he was certain of it.

*

Charles stayed in his room for the reminder of the afternoon and well into the evening but Hank didn’t leave, not because he had nowhere else to go but because he couldn’t walk out on Charles. He’d promised Erik he’d look after him and he wasn’t going to break it. Hank spent the afternoon familiarizing himself with the apartment without snooping through any of Charles’s personal belongings though he examined each and every photograph on display. Most were of Charles and Raven but there were several of Erik too. It was strange to see such a different side of Erik, in these images he was smiling and so in love. Hank was mostly familiar with the hardened exterior the older man had shown the inmates, even though he had seen glimpses of this version of Erik when Charles was involved.

He moved into the study and found an extremely large bookshelf, his eyes filled with tears and he scolded himself. He hadn’t owned a book since he was fifteen and Charles had an entire wall full of them. Was he jealous? Perhaps but Charles had a heart of gold and would, of course, allow Hank to read any or all of them. His eyes scanned all the shelves, already making a mental note of all the titles he couldn’t wait to read. Hank was tempted to start now but he couldn’t, he would have to ask permission first.  
His exploration led him to discover three bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. Every room was well looked after, a little too clean actually, that Hank realized Charles must have a housekeeper or someone looking after the place. He wondered how they would feel about having an ex-con staying here with Charles but decided not to dwell on it.

Hank moved back into the kitchen, thinking he should make dinner or something but he had no idea what Charles liked so he decided to wait for him. He stepped out onto the balcony and watched the sunset, the sunlight and the breeze were beautiful and he, once again, thanked the stars that he was now a free man.  
He must’ve fallen asleep for the next thing he knew, it was dark and he was slightly chilly but when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find a blanket covering him. Hank looked around and found Raven standing inside, watching him.   
They didn’t talk much as Raven unpacked the groceries she’d bought with her but Hank followed her directions in preparing dinner for the three of them. He told her a short version of his earlier interaction with Charles but she simply nodded her head.

Charles either heard her arrival or was simply hungry for he finally ventured from his room. He was as unkempt as he’d been when Hank had first shown up. Raven looked at him with a hint of sadness but she didn’t comment on his appearance as she placed a plate of food before him. Charles seemed to operate on autopilot, picked up his fork and proceeded to eat. Hank and Raven made eye contact many times during the meal but neither of them said a word.  
As soon as they finished eating, Charles excused himself and went straight back to his room. Hank then helped Raven clean up; while they worked they finally started to talk. Hank was sure she was a little uncertain about him and knew he needed to earn her trust for she believed him to be a felon.

Raven took Hank into one of the spare bedrooms and assured him the room was his now. She handed him his own set of keys, making a point of telling him that she was taking a lot on faith in trusting him to look after her brother. He understood her hesitation and accepted the keys then she took him downstairs to properly meet the doorman and the security guards. Hank was thankful she didn’t tell any of them about how Hank knew the Xavier family.  
After she left, Hank looked around the room that was now his and he collapsed upon the bed. He’d spent his first night of freedom in a hotel room but now he was in an apartment with a room of his own and he felt tears prickling his eyes. He was going to earn his place here and prove to Charles, Erik, Raven, Vange, that their faith in him hadn’t been misplaced.

The bed was plush, huge and so comfortable that Hank was asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow but he was roused from his deep slumber by the sound of someone screaming. For a moment, he forgot where he was as screaming was something he was almost used to in prison then he realized it was Charles and he ran from the room, kicked in the door of Charles’s room and fumbled for the light switch.  
Hank grabbed a hold of Charles and woke him. He watched as the fear seeped from his eyes and he crumbled before him. Hank wrapped his arms around Charles but the other man struggled to break free so he released him and allowed him to place space between them.

“Charles?” Hank tried to calm him. “It was just a dream”  
“It was a memory” he snapped “it happened, Hank”  
“I know”  
“No, you don’t know, Hank! There was six of them and they did… they… they…”  
“I know… I know what they did to you, Charles but it’s okay, it’s over”  
“I miss Erik… I need Erik”  
“I wish I knew what to say… I wish he was here for you, Charles”  
“Victor, Azazel, they’re in my head every night… I go to sleep and I relive what they did to me”  
“Every night?” Hank asked in surprise while Charles nodded with tears in his eyes.  
“I close my eyes and I can feel their hands on me, in me, and it makes me feel sick” Charles confessed.

Hank’s heart broke for Charles, he was one of the sweetest men Hank had ever met and didn’t deserve any of this. He wished he knew how to help him.  
“Does Raven know any of this?” Hank had to ask even though he knew the answer. Charles shook his head no.  
“She knows I was raped but not all the details… like how many were involved” he admitted “I don’t want her to know”  
“So you’ve been keeping all this to yourself all this time?”  
“She uh knows about the dreams… nightmares… because she stayed here a bit after I got out but… It’s not exactly something that’s easy to talk about…”  
“You’re right, I’m sorry”  
“I haven’t told her much at all about what it was like in there” Charles admitted “she’s asked a few times but…”  
“It’s hard” Hank agreed “people who haven’t been in prison don’t understand what it’s like in there… the little things like lack of privacy and the threats, the fear… I’d say you were lucky to have Erik watching over you but what happened to you sucks…” he paused “until I threw myself at Erik, I was convinced the worst was going to happen to me… Even I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through”  
“I wish I could say it gets easier… I mean, it’s happened to me before but Erik was there and he stopped it before I was you know? But I had nightmares about it for weeks, months after, fearing what could have happened had Erik not been there”  
“I am so sorry that you’ve had to go through this not once but twice”

“Are you sure you really want to stay here with me?” Charles asked him after a long pause “I’m not exactly the best company to be around”  
“Charles, you’re the only friend I have” Hank said to him “and nothing will scare me away from you”

*

It took a few weeks for them to adjust to their new living arrangements.   
Charles had gotten used to being alone while Hank wasn’t accustomed to having this much privacy, his own room and space, the ability to come and go as he pleased. Charles gave Hank his own credit card too which added to Hank’s newfound freedom but he didn’t go crazy with his spending, just bought himself the basic necessities and a modest selection of clothing.

He went to bed early every night so he’d be well rested when Charles’s screams woke him in the middle of the night. Hank kept his promises to everyone and watched over Charles as best he could but h knew he wasn’t enough, that he was essentially a Band-Aid on Charles’s broken arm while Erik was the plaster he needed to help heal it.  
After yet another sleepless night, Hank prepared breakfast for the two of them and wolfed his own down before leaving the apartment. He drove for some time, having taken a while to get used to being behind the wheel of a car again then waited in the visitor’s area for his chance to talk to Erik.   
The man wasn’t limping anymore but he looked as gruff as Hank remembered him to be but the look of fear on his face was one he’d not seen before.

“Is it Charles?” Erik asked “is he okay?”  
“He’s… Well, he’s Charles” Hank replied.  
“I take it he didn’t send you away then?”  
“No, he didn’t but you were right, he’s not in a good place” he didn’t miss the hurt expression on Erik’s face “but I don’t know how to help him. I owe you everything and I can’t do the one thing I promised you I would”  
“You promised to keep him company, to make sure he wasn’t going through this alone”  
“He needs you, Erik, not me”  
“It’s just a couple more months then he and I can be together”  
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do”  
“So you came to me?”  
“I know you can’t do anything from in here but I don’t know who else to talk to… Charles doesn’t want Raven to know how bad he’s coping and he won’t go to therapy-”  
“He’s not?” Erik sighed “he promised me he was still going”  
“He hasn’t left the apartment since I moved in; he barely even leaves his room save for your daily phone call… I think he’s showering once a week”

“Can I tell him you came here today? So I can talk to him about this?” Erik asked.  
“I don’t want him to think I’m tattling on him” Hank said.  
“You’re trying to help him… I’m sure he’ll understand”  
“I’m sure he just needs time”  
“He hasn’t tried to… hurt himself has he?” Erik looked as though he was afraid to hear Hank’s answer.  
“What? No! I don’t think the idea has even occurred to him!”  
“Well, that’s something” Erik sounded relieved.  
“And uh what about in there? Are you still Top Dog?”  
“For now… it uh helps that uh Victor had a bit of an accident”  
“What kind of accident?”  
“Oh he’s dead”

Hank dropped the phone and fumbled to pick it back up.  
“He’s what?” he hissed.  
“Listen, you don’t need to know the finer details but he’s not an issue anymore”  
“What the hell happened? Did you…?”  
“No one can prove it” Erik whispered “and Azazel got blamed… two birds, one stone”  
“Erik, this is insane!”  
“The important thing is Charles is safe out there and neither of them are going to hurt him ever again”  
“Erik-”  
“Please, Hank? Just continue doing what you’re doing and I’ll talk to Charles myself about everything, okay?”  
“How are Alex and Darwin?” Hank changed the subject.  
“Oddly enough, they’re both really missing you” Erik admitted “you weren’t in some weird three-way thing with them, were you?”  
“God no!”  
“Oh… You uh you know Alex gets out next week, right?”  
“He does?”  
“Yeah… This place sure isn’t the same without you and losing Alex it’s going to be even weirder”  
“None of that’s going to matter once you get out of here and are back with Charles”  
“Thank you for coming to see me today, Hank, and please remind Charles how much I love him”  
“I will, I promise”

*

Hank made sure he wasn’t around the following morning when Erik called as he wanted to give Charles privacy and time to calm down afterwards by the time he returned, he was surprised to find the older man sitting on the couch in fresh clothes with damp, washed hair. He couldn’t quite read the mood in the air.

“Hey Charles” Hank tried to sound nonchalant.  
“I thought you were suspiciously absent this morning” Charles began “you ratted me out to Erik?”  
“Looks like it worked. I see you showered today”  
“He threatened to tell Raven”  
“You don’t expect me to believe that’s all it took to get you up and about”  
“Of course not… But the less she knows the better and I believe Erik when he threatens to do something”  
“I want to ask what he said to get through to you but it’s none of my business”  
“You’re right, it’s not” Charles got to his feet. At nearly foot shorter than Hank, he was in no way a threat but the anger emitting from him was enough to make Hank take a step back “Erik may have sent you here to spy on me but I can toss you out on your ass at the drop of a hat. Don’t cross me again, Hank”

Charles turned on his heel and left the room, locked himself in his room again. Hank didn’t see him again for the rest of the day but the following morning, there was a knock at the door. He was used to people being announced by Security and Charles telling them to go away. The only person whom didn’t receive a formal announcement was Raven as she had her own key. Hank unlocked the door and frowned at the pretty blonde woman standing before him.

“Erik sent me” she explained “you must be Hank”  
“I am” he had no idea who she was but he held his hand out in greeting “nice to meet you”  
“Doctor Frost… Emma... I’m Charles’s therapist. He uh has been refusing to see me. As his friend I didn’t want to push it but Erik insisted I come”   
Hank stepped aside and allowed her entry.  
“He’s in his room” Hank told her “like he has been every day since I got here but you came on a good day, he showered yesterday”   
This titbit didn’t seem to faze her but she’d witnessed his behaviour after his last attempted assault so it was no surprise that he’d regress back to his old ways.

Once again, Hank left the apartment to give Emma and Charles privacy. He went for a long drive then stopped by the grocery store that by the time he returned, Emma had left and Charles was outside on the balcony. Hank wasn’t sure if he should approach or not so decided to keep his distance and made his way towards the study and the waiting bookcase. He’d just selected his next book when he sensed someone behind him and turned around. Charles was standing in the doorway, his hair had recently been brushed, and he had his arms folded across his chest.

“I think it’s time you and I had a proper talk” Charles said to Hank. His heart sank.


	4. Chapter 4

Hank sat behind the wheel of the car, casting nervous looks at Charles out the corner of his eye while they waited in silence for the clock to read the awaited time. When it finally happened, Hank turned and looked at his friend who was now shaking.

“You know you don’t have to do this” Hank stated.

It was the first time Charles had left the apartment since Hank had moved in; the furthest he’d venture was onto the balcony. He still hadn’t been to see Emma, forcing her to come to him for the appointments that he at least seemed to be keeping. Now they were waiting outside the tall prison walls, waiting for visitor hours to begin. Charles hadn’t been back here since his release.

“I have to do this” Charles insisted. “I have to see Erik”  
“At least let me come in with you” Hank offered.   
“No, you’re needed out here, remember?”  
“I’m sure that can wait. I just don’t like the idea of you going in alone”  
“Well, surely I’ll be okay… There’s guards and…”   
“Did you even tell him you were coming?”  
“I assumed he’d tell me not to… like before”

Hank nodded in understanding. It took Charles nearly fifteen minutes to open the car door and another ten to walk towards the building. Being back stirred up too many painful memories but all he wanted was to see Erik. He made his way inside and through the security checks where he was escorted to the visitor area. Several inmates were already there; one he recognized but couldn’t remember his name. Charles moved to the allocated area and sat staring through the glass at the empty seat. His heart was hammering in his chest as he waited for Erik, he wanted to get up and run away but the thought of seeing his love was what kept him rooted to the spot.

Several minutes passed before Erik finally sat down opposite him. Their eyes met and in that moment, there was no glass between them and they were the only two people in the room. Erik snatched up the phone and placed his hand upon the glass, Charles reached out, willing himself to feel Erik’s touch.

“Charles, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” Erik asked.  
“I was afraid you’d tell me not to” Charles admitted “and I wasn’t really certain that I’d be able to do it”  
“Oh Charles”  
“Being back here, albeit on the outside, is still terrifying… I can feel everyone watching me… But I had to see you”  
“You look so much better than I imaged you would”  
“Erik!”  
“From what Hank and Raven led me to believe, you’d become an unwashed hermit”  
“I feel like my entire life stopped when you were taken away from me and I’ve been adrift ever since… Seeing you again, being locked up with you, was utterly terrifying but being with you again just made me feel complete again. Then Victor and Azazel happened and the rug was pulled out from under me again. I feel like I don’t know how to function without you”  
“Charles, you’ve been so strong and brave through all of this. Every terrible hand that’s been dealt, you’ve overcome. The fact that you’re even here right now is proof of how strong and capable you are. I love you, Charles and we’ll be together again soon”  
“Erik-”  
“But I’m no wizard either; be getting out of here won’t magically fix things. What happened to you, it happened and nothing can undo that”  
“But you’ll be with me, holding me and loving me” Charles said with tears in his eyes.

He broke off as he felt his tears taking control of him; seeing Erik again was affected him in a way he hadn’t anticipated… He was reminded of seeing his love being restrained and bleeding while he was being assaulted. It wasn’t something he wanted to remember but he couldn’t say anything for he didn’t want Erik to know that was what he was thinking of.

“I love you” Charles sobbed “I’m trying so hard to stay strong for you”  
“It’s okay, love” Erik whispered “I’ll be with you soon, I promise. You’re safe with Hank, Raven, Emma… Nothing will happen to you, okay? Just… try to be patient and I’ll be coming home to you soon”  
Charles nodded in understanding.

“Has Hank been an okay distraction?” Erik asked him. Charles nodded again.  
“I think he has a bit of a crush on Raven” he admitted.  
“Really? I have to say, didn’t see that coming”  
“She’s the only woman he’s had any contact with in how long? Surely it was inevitable”  
They both laughed; it felt surprisingly good to both of them.

“Please, find ways to distract yourself” Erik said to him “don’t stay hiding from the world, waiting for me to be free to get your life back on track. Start your charity work again, do something, anything. Find a new project that I’ll be able to help with once we’re together again”  
It wasn’t the first time Erik had spun this spiel to Charles but it may be the first time the younger man actually listened and heeded his words. Saying goodbye to Erik took longer and was more difficult that he’d anticipated it to be. Charles was in the midst of saying I love you for the umpteenth time when Hank appeared at his side. Erik nodded to Hank, indicating it was okay for him to forcibly remove Charles for if he didn’t, the young man would never leave.

Once outside the building, Hank kept his arm around Charles the entire walk to the car where they found Alex sitting upon the bonnet. He jumped down when he spotted them and hugged Charles in greeting.  
“I take it you saw Erik?” Alex asked him.  
“Yeah” Charles wiped the last of his tears away. “I know, it’s only a couple more months but the closer it gets, the harder it feels”   
Alex nodded then turned and cast his own glance back at the tall walled building. Charles remembered that Alex was leaving Darwin inside.  
“How uh long until…” Charles asked.  
“Fourteen months” Alex replied. “Long enough for me to find a job and a place to live and-”  
“You already have a place to live, Alex”  
“Temporarily… You don’t expect us to stay with you forever”  
“I expect you to stay as long as you want”

The three men climbed into the car. Hank started the engine and pulled out of the lot, both Charles and Alex watched from the window as they were taken away from their lover’s and the prison drew further and further away. Once out of sight, Charles reached into the backseat and offered his hand to Alex as they each shared the other’s anguish.

**--** 

Having Alex in the apartment added an entirely new dynamic to their dysfunctional family and caused some tension with a few of the neighbours once they learned that he too was a convicted felon but Alex was determined to be a model houseguest and neighbour. Hank was happy to have another familiar face around and while Charles still kept mostly to himself, Hank and Alex spent hours together especially once Alex managed to enrol in some local classes as Hank was a helpful tutor.  
They both knew how lucky they were to have Charles’s friendship, support and finances at their disposal but they were also reluctant to spend any of his fortune frivolously. Charles still had nightmares of his assault and was comforted in the night by Hank, some nights Alex was there too, watching over him. It was a nice feeling to know there were people who genuinely cared about him.  
Some nights it was Alex who had nightmares and Hank was there to help him too. 

The three men lived and worked around each other, all considerate of the others while keeping their own boundaries. Erik phoned every day as did Darwin then Charles and Alex would commiserate with each other over missing their loves.

Charles had affixed a large calendar to the refrigerator that counted down the days until Erik’s release. As the date grew closer, the days felt longer and Charles began to feel anxious. He couldn’t wait to be held by Erik but he was also nervous about what would happen between them that night. Would Erik be expecting more from him? He’d told himself for weeks, months, that everything would be perfect again once Erik was free but the thought of sex was just too much for Charles and he spent three days dry-retching into the toilet. It wasn’t until Alex found and scolded him that he realized how ludicrous he was being.

*

The day finally dawned though Charles didn’t sleep a wink the night before. He was the first one out of bed and tried to prepare breakfast for Hank and Alex as he had no intention of eating anything himself but all he succeeding in doing was destroying a fry pan.   
Hank was secretly enjoying seeing Charles so happy and nervous. He felt as everything had been building to this very day though in the back of his mind he was secretly scared that once Erik came home, he’d insist on kicking both Hank and Alex out on the street.

Charles fidgeted nervously for the entire drive to the prison; Hank was behind the wheel, Charles in the passenger seat while Raven sat in the back. Alex hadn’t been up for going back, not ready to see Darwin still locked up while he was free. Charles hadn’t expected Raven to make the trip but her opinion of Erik really had changed since his incarceration.  
Hank stopped the car and the three of them climbed out. The sky was black, rain threatened to fall at any given moment. Raven moved to stand next to Hank and they leaned against the car, watching the main gate for any sign of Erik. Charles paced anxiously in front of them.

The rain began to fall but Charles was not deterred and continued his pacing. Hank was the first to spot the lone figure as he emerged from the building and he gently nudged Raven. When Charles finally caught a glimpse of his lover, he broke into a run as did Erik. It was borderline cheesy as they ran to each other and Charles all but leapt into Erik’s waiting arms. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he clung to Erik and the older man’s arms engulfed him protectively.

“I missed you” Charles sobbed.  
“I love you” Erik insisted as he held Charles and kissed his forehead.

Raven reached for Hank’s hand and squeezed it as she smiled at the sight before them. Neither of them moved though; they remained by the car watching the reunion before them. They couldn’t hear what was being said between the couple but Raven had never seen her brother be kissed so passionately before nor had he ever looked as happy. When the falling rain became too much for them, Hank and Raven climbed back into the car while Charles and Erik continued to act like they were the only two people in the world.  
It didn’t take long for them to become soaked right through their clothes but neither had any intention of letting go of the other. Hank and Raven debated how long to leave them out there for until Hank eventually gave in and took an umbrella to them.

In their sopping wet clothes, they both climbed into the backseat where Charles rested his head upon Erik’s shoulder as they clasped hands the entire drive home. Raven took her leave almost immediately and missed seeing the handmade ‘welcome home’ sign that Alex had hung above the door.  
They stayed long enough to collect Alex and for Charles and Erik to change into dry clothes then they went out for lunch at Erik’s favorite restaurant. Conversation was somewhat awkward but they made do as they knew this was what their immediate future was going to be like. Erik suggested they walk home so Alex and Hank took the car while Charles and Erik walked hand in hand along the sidewalk. Charles was a nervous bundle of energy and found himself babbling almost incoherently the entire time as he still couldn’t believe they were finally reunited.

When they finally returned to the apartment, Hank and Alex were nowhere to be found so they had the place to themselves. Charles, in his excitement, grabbed Erik’s hand and pulled him into the bedroom. At first, Erik was confused until they came to a stop in front of the closet and Charles threw the door open for Erik to see all his clothes neatly put away.

“You promised we’d live together once you were free” Charles said, nervously “I don’t know if these even fit you anymore but-”  
“It’s perfect” Erik said with a smile “you’re perfect, Charles”

Erik wrapped his arms around the younger man, pulled him close where he stole a kiss so Charles brought his arms up and wrapped them around his neck. Their lips came together in another deep kiss and Erik slowly started towards the bed. They fell atop the mattress where Erik slipped his hand underneath Charles’s shirt and gently caressed his abdomen. Charles immediately tensed at the intimate touch and Erik retracted his hand.

“I’m sorry” Erik whispered in his ear. “I shouldn’t’ve”  
“No” Charles whispered “I’m sorry. I… I want you to touch me”  
“Charles-”  
“Please… Please, touch me, Erik”  
“Not if it’s too soon”

Charles sat up and looked down at Erik who was staring at him with nothing but love and admiration in his eyes. He loved Erik with all his heart and he wanted to be with him. The assault had been so long ago; surely he was ready to be with Erik again. He shifted his weight and threw his leg over Erik’s, straddling him.

“Touch me, Erik” Charles whispered in his ear. “Like the first proper time we were together in your cell”  
“Are you sure, Charles?” Erik asked him.  
“Positive… I refuse to let them win”

Charles took Erik’s hand in his and guided it between his legs where he allowed Erik to work him to the brink.   
They exchanged desperate kisses while Erik stroked and touched Charles, bringing him closer and closer to the edge. There was a moment or two of hesitation from Charles but he grasped onto Erik and reminded himself that he was with someone who loved him, someone he trusted, and he wanted this so much. He came with tears in his eyes as he clung to Erik and told him that he loved him. Erik kissed his tears away and held him protectively while whispering words of love and endearment in Charles’s ear.

They each gazed into the other’s eyes and Erik brushed Charles’s hair back from his face.  
“It’s okay, Charles” Erik assured him “I’ll never let anything take me away from you, ever again”  
“I’m sorry I’m not ready for… more yet. I can’t give you all of me… but you can have what’s left”  
“Don’t be sorry, love. We’re together now and I’m happy to have whatever you can offer me because I love you”

Charles entwined their fingers and brought Erik’s hand up to his lips to kiss his palm.  
“I don’t deserve you, Erik” Charles whispered.  
“You deserve more than I can ever give you… and more than you’ve been dealt”  
“I have you and that’s all I’ll ever need”


End file.
